Yani's Claim to Fame

I bet you didn't know that our very own Tripod+1 founding father, Yani, was actually the male model for the first version of Facebook! After beating out legions of young hwipperhwills for the photoshoot and the right to have his headshot gracing the bannOr of Facebook.com, Yani had expected his instant fame to propel him into the upper echelon of male models, alongside the likes of Tyson Beckford. However, he abruptly cut his modeling career short in order to work on his AYYYYYyyyYYYyyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPS. The end.

Key Scarface Quote 1: Don't get confuuuuuused, Tony

"Don't get confuuuuuused, Tony. I don't *bleep* around with the help."

Stated haughtily after Al Pacino's Tony Montana roughly attempts to kiss Michelle Pfeiffer's character 'Elvira' in a leopaaaard skin adorned convertible.

Used flexibly by substituting "Tony" for the name of any particular friend or acquaintance, meant to express exasperation at one's inability to "get the picture."

E.g., "Don't get confuuuuuuused, Yani. I don't shop around at the Gap."

NotifyING. NotifOR

Hey, does anyone know how to set this up so it sends you an email when someone posts, or reponds to a post? It looks like you can RSS this stuff, but I assume that means you have to visit your RSS reader anyway?

All American Appelations

I thought it would be good to really start to chronicle (kkkkkkronikkkle) all the ways American weird-asses call each other. Thus, in no particular order, here goes. The structure will be Word then Use of word in sentence then any requisite physical components or bodily motions or actions, and finally why I think it sounds so dumb:


Chief - "Ey, Chief" - Upward Nod of the head - Chiefs are a dying breed. There are of course regions of the world where there are tribal chiefs however in those cases I would argue that their community or fellow tribesmen don't go around nodding at their Chief and saying "Ey Chief." It's also condescending - what the phrase is really intending to say is "Hey Not-Chief, I'm a Big Chief"

Champ - "Hey, Champ" - Upward Nod of the head w/ extremely fake smile and an optional pat on the back and/or light punch to the elbow - First of all, any pat on the back or elbow punch from someone I'm not very good friends with bugs the shite out of me, doesn't matter what the person says, but if they do choose to embellish with a "Hey Champ" then that triple-bugs the shite out of me. Got issues with the touch barrier from untrusted sources. Moreover, most people in the office are not Champions. They haven't won any gold medals or trophies for quite some time. So what it's really saying is "Hey there, I'm the shit. How are you?"

Guy - "Hey Guy" - Wide Eyes, Big Smile, Kinda sly, like you have more to say but you're holding back, definitely requires a head nod... likely w/ raised eyebrows - after Raf's experience w/ the gay "guy", this one's hilarious... it's not a felony, no real condescension that I can detect... it's more old-school and silly if used between younger people.... My gram says "Hey Guy" so it's cool when she says it of course but if some dude at work in the toilet says "Hey Guy" while we're both holding our "johnsons" then I get somewhat uncomfortable and slightly annoyed, so to recap - 1) not a felony 2) if my grandma says it, it's cool.

Big Guy - "Hey, Big Guy" - BIG, BIG fake Smile, optional nod of the head, semi-optional point with index finger to the alleged "big guy", very optional gut-TORAL snicker to follow the "hey, big guy" - AGHHHH! SO condescending. I would call this one a felony. It's just wrong. No one in an office environment is THAT big. If they were a "big guy" they'd be in the NFL or the NBA, that's where the gold mine / promised land of "big guys" is, not in the office. I'm 5'8", that's not big, that's average or maybe below average here in the US of A. It's basically asking "Were you aware that you are smaller than me? This probably applies to your penis as well"

Buddy - "Ey Buddy" - More Natural smile, quicker pronunciation of "Buddy" the better - this one's not so bad, it's non-threatening at least, only trace amounts of condescension, if any. One of the most satisfying to use sarcastically and kinda fun to say, makes me feel happy and warm inside... Still risky, especially between people who don't know each other... Risky....

Big Shooter - "Hey Big Shooter" - Deep Voice, happy but more serious delivery required. Slower delivery too, more of a surprise at what a truly "big" shooter you have in front of you. The "big shooter's" sheer size, should always cause you some minor shock. Big Shooter and Big Swinging Dick might be long-lost cousins, but this is TBD - anyway, this is one that doesn't piss me off as much as does not make any sense. Fuc's a big shooter? As in guns? Basketball? I don't get it. My rib hurts.

Boss - "What's Up, Boss" - Higher voice. Rising intonation as you deliver the phrase. For some reason, and I'm sure a good reason, Boss seems to be pronounced more like "Bawss" Even non-east coasters seem to be east coast when they say "what's up bawss", there's a certain element of surprise or excitement I have noticed with this one - I don't like this one, but I don't hate it as much as "big guy". Some slight condescension there... but not egregious... a little weird to call others "boss" but not that egregious... Something about it is fishy but it's not a felony.

More to come...

Tripod+1 Profile: Rufie

Also known as: Ralphie, La-pai-ell, Raf
Country of Origin: The Philippines
Ideal Girl: Cute, meaty, doesn't work out, likes techno music, likes to eat (bonus: Japanese, wide face)
Favorite Phrases: Sh!t! Who's the FRIEND?...Shoulda gotten TTTTHHAT!...Souuuunds HOT...
Money Dance Move: "The right-shoulder wrap-around leaning clap"
Favorite Color: All earth tones
Man Crushes: Manu Ginobili, Roger Federer
Favorite Foods: ChitTORlings, Crispy Pata
Guilty Pleasure: The Hills

UFC Profile
Brown Belt in Negging
Tries Hard, Doesn't Mess Up
Superior Practioner of Rufie's Dance

Important Notice

Gentlemen,

Thank you all for your hard work in ensuring that Tripod+1's re-org goes smoothly. In addition, please note that "+1 status" is hereby conferred to Yugi Hsu, for reasons mostly related to, but not limited to, not being available for mandatory weekly lunch meetings.

Please note that the conferral of "+1 status" will be reviewed quarterly.

Best regards,

Dyai Byin Dyeh
Head, +1 Review Committee

Organizational Announcement

August 17th, 2008

Effective Immediately:

Yani Van Reepinghen, Chief Brunt-Bearing Officer (CBBO) will now also serve as Chief Chiming Officer (CCO);

Yugi Hsu, Chief Sharing Officer (CSO) will now serve as VP of Sun-Drenched Operations;

Rufie Aquino, formerly Director of Poke-Bearing Operations, is now promorted to Sr. Director of Chiming Operations; he will also serve as Manager of Heathen Activities;

Dyai Byin Dyeh, formerly Regional Director of Haasporter Operations has been demorted to Regular Working-Class Stiff.

Transition timing will vary by individual and the particulars will be worked out between the person being transitioned and their new supervisors.

Taking Credit and My 2 cents on dee controverseeeee, mmmmmuch

What is the purpose of dee blooooooog? Share? Document and record Tripod+1 adventures? Spell out Tripod lingo?, which, btw, is 1 of the most satisfying things ever -- when you perfectly and successfully spell out a Tripod word for the first time (which happens 99% of the time in an email). It takes patience and hard work but when you get it just right, it's fucking rewarding. Like when I spelled "pyyyaaaaaaaaanties" out for the first time. You have to have just the right # of y's and just the right # of a's, otherwise, you fuck it up and in a way, disrespect the lingo by not putting forth max effort...but I digress. One of the purposes of the dee blog is to take credit. That's right! Take credit. I'm taking credit for introducing dee (insert monosyllabic word with "eeeeeeee" sound). Back when it was still Tripod (without the +1) the Tripod came down to LA to celebrate my bday with me. The next morning, after the festivities, while standing outside this brunch place, I asked Ian if he had shared dee (insert monosyllabic word with "eeeeeeee" sound) with our Taiwanese comrades. He said no and explained that in his opinion, they weren't "ready" for that yet. I disagreed, ignored his warning and "shared" it with them anyway: "Ok, so check it out... any time there's a short 'i' sound, you change it to 'eeeeeeeeeeeee.' So like, bridge, becomes 'deee breeeeeeeeedge,' and Merlin becomes "Merleeeeeeeeeeeeen." And it, as I expected, caught on. So I'm taking credit here for taking the risk. It was ME. RUFIE. It could have crashed and burned (much like when I told the waaaiiit, waaaiiit joke to Peko and Friends that one time at Pacifica beach). But I "threw a dart at the board" and in this instance, cashed out big time.

Now my two cents (mmmuch) on the dee controverseeee. I'm of the opinion that we should air on the side of caution. We have to be careful and make sure that this evolves (or devolves, depending on how you see it) the right way. If we're able to say deee anything, then the words lose their distinction. I'm down with dee "non eeeeeeeee" monosyllabic words, like dee blooooog, or dee poooooooooose." But polysyllabic usage is a slippOry slope. For example, dee next bloooooooooock should just be thrown out. That's just disgusting. Like I said on the chat btwn me and Dai: Flagrant + 7 freethrows + 3 consecutive possessions. But I'm not completely against polysyllabic; it's not black & white. For example Dee funneeeel is damn funny. Can't pinpoint why, but it works. So what we have to do is set up criteria of when it's OK and not OK. Gotta set some ground rules, son! If there are no ground rules, then the language has no structure and you can't share and spread the lingo. For example, how would I have been able to share dee breeeedge if there were no basic ground rules. I would've had to say: "So you say 'deee whatever.' Get it? Just say 'dee' before any noun." And THAT would NOT have caught on. So you have got to have rules, just like any other language. BlogGING BlogGOR. Mehehe.

deeeee breeeeeeeedge

Deee controverseeeee

Of late, Tripod+1 has engaged in a dispute over the proper use of "deeee." This particular "phraseology" is believed to have originated in Hong Kong and was originally used to emphasize and poke fun at any topic or item of interest, and also typically only objects that contain the sound "eeee." (e.g., "deeeee briiiiiiiiiiiiidge")

There are some camps, however, that insist that the original conventions have room to evolve to include other non "eeeee"-sounding objects. Examples include "deeee funnelllll" or "deeee next bloooooock." The council appears split down the middle, with 2 in favor of the evolving convention, and 2 in favor of the status quo. (Statuuuuuuuuuuus quo.) Only time can tell which way this saga develops.

An oldie but goodie: "Deeeee gryyyyyyst to deeee meeeeeeeell!!!"